life is not how wonderful we want it.

few days lately i'm started to think how my life would  be if i do better for the last time. would it be better or worst?
last two days or maybe 3 days ago i read a blog. a girl. reading her whole blog really affects me. let me tell you some of her story.

she's married at her 20 and her husband was a year older. she's still studying at uia-degree in dietetic.
pregnant now.
she's married with her and her hubby own money,not from their parents coz their income on that time was rm5000 per month. skrg tataw la brape gamaknye income diorg.

her blog is really inspiring me. really touched me.

i was a bit jealous of her because of the life she have. but rolling down through her blog, her life were not easy. there's a lot she had to do and left for her life becoming like now.

there is something about her that giving me goosebumps.

her experience. there is nothing like that much more precious than a scholarship or getting dean list while still studying. her experience y gile2 tu tak mampu dibeli . nilai nya lagi besar dari those biasiswa y kite berebut2 tu.

at the age of 20,what do you expect more? but she, had done much more than our usual thinking.

she worked hard so much- at my age. i cried. yeah i cried  thinking what am i doing right now at the age of 20 at still doing nothing except for study and wait for those silly ptptn flowing through my pocket.
and again,still dean list pon tak dapat? grrrrrr...

while crying like shit i tell him how depressed i was now.
i told him how many stupid things i'd done until now.
i told him how badly i want my spirit getting lift up by now.
i told him i dont want to be me again.
i told him i'm tired.tired to live like this.
i told him how bad i was to Allah.
how i miss my dad.i want my old life back.

he'd done persuading me with his own words.of course more matured than me telling me how Allah loves me so much- that's HE giving those calamity.
The HE sent me to you to hear your cry tonight.
HE let you down first to teach you to move on with HIM.
HE wont give those calamity if u cant handle it.


ok.getting ok da. :)

then,

lutfi: ni knape ni smpai teruk sgt nangis ni. prob berat ke ni.,
liyana: taklah. ok da.tade pape.
lutfi: baik ckp cepat.
liyana: ok2. tadi bace blog pastu,blog die,.......bla bla bla yada yada yada.,.,sbb tu la., :(
lutfi: lah. syg, menangis teruk2 td sebab bace blog org je?
liyana; a'ah la .nape? tak bole ke? (nada aku da down.:(  )
lutfi: takde la.,igt pasal prob ke tadi. y kat sini da risau sgt da ni taw tak.
liyana: .................................

huh!!GUYS.

P/S :then after that i explained to him while reading tu my brain da flashback balik all the memories before i dont want to remember it anymore. so,bile igt balik tu y jadi cmtu.


guys, you all kene explain satu2 dulu baru faham ka? *sighh*