How Love Can Happen: Scientifically.

 nowadays, we often hear that marriage would never last long. especially from west.

but why?

do you ever wonder that?

i had read bout this somewhere else, copied it a little for my acknowledgement. but now i can't remember the link. =,='

here is the research result.

“After doing MRI on the brain of two lovers – they had been ‘madly in love’ for seven months during that time. she found out that parts of brain linked up to reward and pleasure – the ventral segmental area and the caudate nucleus- lit up. What excited Fisher most was not so much finding a location, an address, for love as tracing its specific chemical pathways. 

Love lights up the caudate nucleus because it is home to a dense spread of receptors for a neurotransmitter called dopamine, which Fisher came to think of as part of our own endogenous love potion.in the right proportions, dopamine creates intense energy, exhilaration, focused attention, and motivation to win rewards. It is why, when you are newly in love, you can stay up all night, watch the sun rise, run a race, ski fast down a slope ordinarily too steep for your skill.Love makes you bold, makes you bright, makes you run real risks, which you sometimes survive, and sometimes you don’t.” [The Chemistry of Love, National Geographic]

ok, i know you all malas nak baca kan. here it is.

lepas mereka buat MRI terhadap couple tu(madly in love for seven months), diorg jumpa bahagian otak yang link kan reward and pleasure. dipendekkan cerita, love akan light up part bla bla bla dophamine. dophamine ni kata mereka adalah endogenous love potion. *please dont ask me what is endogenous is.

so, in right proportion, dophamine mencipta intense energy, exhilaration, focused attention and motivation to win rewards.

sebab tu bila anda,anda dan anda semua newly madly in love, you really can stay up all night,watch the sun rise,run a race, senang kata anything y orang tak bercinta buat lah.

love make you bold and strong, bright, berani terima risks yang dimana kadang-kadang survive, kadang-kadang tak.

Mind you that mentally-ill people also shows high amount of dopamine in their brain, and scientists cannot tell apart one who is mentally-ill and one who is ‘madly in love’ by just MRIing their brains. Cool, right? The meaning of ‘madly in love’ is more real than what we think of, as the brain chemistry of infatuation is indeed akin to mental illness. Tak heran la, pijak semut pon tak mati, lautan api pon akan ku redah, dan gunung tinggi mana pon akan ku daki. Do you think an orang gila can make a sound judgement? The fact is, when you are in deep romantic obsession, you just want to win rewards from your partner due to the excessive dopamines, not objectively finding faults in him or her as you claim. Of course nobody is perfect, there is no point in finding every fault in your partner, and supposedly marriage is about reconciling differences and accepting the fact that your partner is another human being, inescapable from making mistakes. What I am stressing here is that dating and hanging out are for mere pleasures, not finding the right partner. How can something that is similar to mental-illness becomes a reliable way to make your decision of a lifetime? So am I still not convincing? Let’s hear further what Dr. Helen Fischer has to say about the chemistry of love:-

seems familiar? mind you that mentally ill people also shows high amount of dopamine in their brain. and scientists sendiri tak boleh beza yang mana satu otak 'mentally-ill' and 'madly in love' dgn pakai MRI je. 

cool right?

that means apa orang kata 'madly in love' selama ni adalah betul.

selama ni orang bercinta kata pijak semut pun tak mati, lautan api akan ku redah, menunggu mu seribu tahun, gunung tinggi mana akan ku daki. means madly in love macam org gila jugak la scientifically.

 do you think an orang gila can make a sound judgement?

the fact is, kalau tgh madly in love, you just want to win rewards from your partner due to excessive dopamine,not objectivle finding faults in him/her as you claim.

“Most scientist who studied love, divide it into three segments: lust, romantic obsession, and attachment. 

The first stage of it which is lust which is actually the sex drive. One of the things that men like about women is their waist to hip ratio, which according to scientists, the desirable waist to hip ratio is point seven. Women are attracted to man with broad shoulders and rugged features, all showing a great deal of testosterone. 

The second stage of love is romantic passion, and the same chemicals are involved when a person is in love is when they are high on Amphetamine [dopamine stimulus] , and the scientists are speculating that it ends after about four years, and that’s because that is the amount of time that it takes for a human baby to become ‘viable’. 

And two things happen, either the couple separate or they stay together in long term relationship. 

That third stage is called attachment and there is a different chemical in brain that is involved in a long-term relationship, which is called oxytocin, and that causes one to feel very calm and soothe. Emily and Brian of Ohio had been married for 60 years and have twenty children. They were to me sort of perfect example of this long-term relationship attachment.” [The Chemistry of Love, National Geographic]

So, according to scientists, this romantic passion can only last at maximum for four years, but they don’t quite know why yet – biology is always vague.

 ada juga y kata badan manusia tak mampu menahan kandungan dopamine y tggi pada jangka waktu y lama sebab it will deteriorates the body.

ada jugak yang kata, four years is the maximum because that is time span for a couple get their first baby.so they need to get serious.

 Another thing to point out is that couples who are in long-term relationship show high amount of oxytocin in their brains, which is a totally different chemical from dopamine. 

Oxytocin is also present when you have good relationships with your parents, brothers, sisters, and friends. 

let me clear the confusing facts,


oxytocin yang buat anda feel calm and soothe.


while dopamine yang create intense energy, exhilaration, focused attention and bla bla bla.

So what makes a relationship last long is this feeling of attachment to your partner like you have for your parents, friends, and family, not the romantic passion during those couple . 

There is no similarity at all between these two chemicals;

 in fact, their purposes are actually the opposite to each other. So only a fool would think that romantic passion is the mechanism that should be used to find a suitable partner. It is like trying to use a hammer to cut your finger nail.

 penat lah nak taip. sambung nanti boleh? ;-)

maseyh.