about my previous post, i had no wills to elaborate it more. it just something to talk about before and then, doomed- i lost interest on it. i realized what a person i am. i get bored easily. i mean, really easy. it is exceptional on what i love though. it only impact on several things. or things i like. maybe.

i had start my second sem for my sophomore year, alhamdulillah :)
about the result, i'm just satisfied. but eningkat lah jugak. thanks to you , Allah. :)i need to do more his sem. hadnt start any lab yet but class were already giving me-us assignment and it'e really giving me the hint that this sem would be harder but manageable. or doable. call it anything you like but if you noticed, the longer you are being drag in into certain things, or in my case- course, the easier you would feel for it. because you already adapted to it and no matter how longer it would take, or haw hard it would take, your brain interpret it as something usual and ain't critical action should be done regarding the matter. you will just follow the flow and will try harder each steps in order to make it become usual rather than unusual. that's life.

i'm not saying that i'm totally-freakin'ly capable to handle this sem, it just i'm okay with it. happy with it. and yakin with it. insyaAllah.  wish me luck. :)

who said 4 flat is impossible is a total moroon. it's up to you. not anyone else.









p/s.:. i miss you robert pattinson. yeah. you.

How Love Can Happen: Scientifically.

 nowadays, we often hear that marriage would never last long. especially from west.

but why?

do you ever wonder that?

i had read bout this somewhere else, copied it a little for my acknowledgement. but now i can't remember the link. =,='

here is the research result.

“After doing MRI on the brain of two lovers – they had been ‘madly in love’ for seven months during that time. she found out that parts of brain linked up to reward and pleasure – the ventral segmental area and the caudate nucleus- lit up. What excited Fisher most was not so much finding a location, an address, for love as tracing its specific chemical pathways. 

Love lights up the caudate nucleus because it is home to a dense spread of receptors for a neurotransmitter called dopamine, which Fisher came to think of as part of our own endogenous love potion.in the right proportions, dopamine creates intense energy, exhilaration, focused attention, and motivation to win rewards. It is why, when you are newly in love, you can stay up all night, watch the sun rise, run a race, ski fast down a slope ordinarily too steep for your skill.Love makes you bold, makes you bright, makes you run real risks, which you sometimes survive, and sometimes you don’t.” [The Chemistry of Love, National Geographic]

ok, i know you all malas nak baca kan. here it is.

lepas mereka buat MRI terhadap couple tu(madly in love for seven months), diorg jumpa bahagian otak yang link kan reward and pleasure. dipendekkan cerita, love akan light up part bla bla bla dophamine. dophamine ni kata mereka adalah endogenous love potion. *please dont ask me what is endogenous is.

so, in right proportion, dophamine mencipta intense energy, exhilaration, focused attention and motivation to win rewards.

sebab tu bila anda,anda dan anda semua newly madly in love, you really can stay up all night,watch the sun rise,run a race, senang kata anything y orang tak bercinta buat lah.

love make you bold and strong, bright, berani terima risks yang dimana kadang-kadang survive, kadang-kadang tak.

Mind you that mentally-ill people also shows high amount of dopamine in their brain, and scientists cannot tell apart one who is mentally-ill and one who is ‘madly in love’ by just MRIing their brains. Cool, right? The meaning of ‘madly in love’ is more real than what we think of, as the brain chemistry of infatuation is indeed akin to mental illness. Tak heran la, pijak semut pon tak mati, lautan api pon akan ku redah, dan gunung tinggi mana pon akan ku daki. Do you think an orang gila can make a sound judgement? The fact is, when you are in deep romantic obsession, you just want to win rewards from your partner due to the excessive dopamines, not objectively finding faults in him or her as you claim. Of course nobody is perfect, there is no point in finding every fault in your partner, and supposedly marriage is about reconciling differences and accepting the fact that your partner is another human being, inescapable from making mistakes. What I am stressing here is that dating and hanging out are for mere pleasures, not finding the right partner. How can something that is similar to mental-illness becomes a reliable way to make your decision of a lifetime? So am I still not convincing? Let’s hear further what Dr. Helen Fischer has to say about the chemistry of love:-

seems familiar? mind you that mentally ill people also shows high amount of dopamine in their brain. and scientists sendiri tak boleh beza yang mana satu otak 'mentally-ill' and 'madly in love' dgn pakai MRI je. 

cool right?

that means apa orang kata 'madly in love' selama ni adalah betul.

selama ni orang bercinta kata pijak semut pun tak mati, lautan api akan ku redah, menunggu mu seribu tahun, gunung tinggi mana akan ku daki. means madly in love macam org gila jugak la scientifically.

 do you think an orang gila can make a sound judgement?

the fact is, kalau tgh madly in love, you just want to win rewards from your partner due to excessive dopamine,not objectivle finding faults in him/her as you claim.

“Most scientist who studied love, divide it into three segments: lust, romantic obsession, and attachment. 

The first stage of it which is lust which is actually the sex drive. One of the things that men like about women is their waist to hip ratio, which according to scientists, the desirable waist to hip ratio is point seven. Women are attracted to man with broad shoulders and rugged features, all showing a great deal of testosterone. 

The second stage of love is romantic passion, and the same chemicals are involved when a person is in love is when they are high on Amphetamine [dopamine stimulus] , and the scientists are speculating that it ends after about four years, and that’s because that is the amount of time that it takes for a human baby to become ‘viable’. 

And two things happen, either the couple separate or they stay together in long term relationship. 

That third stage is called attachment and there is a different chemical in brain that is involved in a long-term relationship, which is called oxytocin, and that causes one to feel very calm and soothe. Emily and Brian of Ohio had been married for 60 years and have twenty children. They were to me sort of perfect example of this long-term relationship attachment.” [The Chemistry of Love, National Geographic]

So, according to scientists, this romantic passion can only last at maximum for four years, but they don’t quite know why yet – biology is always vague.

 ada juga y kata badan manusia tak mampu menahan kandungan dopamine y tggi pada jangka waktu y lama sebab it will deteriorates the body.

ada jugak yang kata, four years is the maximum because that is time span for a couple get their first baby.so they need to get serious.

 Another thing to point out is that couples who are in long-term relationship show high amount of oxytocin in their brains, which is a totally different chemical from dopamine. 

Oxytocin is also present when you have good relationships with your parents, brothers, sisters, and friends. 

let me clear the confusing facts,


oxytocin yang buat anda feel calm and soothe.


while dopamine yang create intense energy, exhilaration, focused attention and bla bla bla.

So what makes a relationship last long is this feeling of attachment to your partner like you have for your parents, friends, and family, not the romantic passion during those couple . 

There is no similarity at all between these two chemicals;

 in fact, their purposes are actually the opposite to each other. So only a fool would think that romantic passion is the mechanism that should be used to find a suitable partner. It is like trying to use a hammer to cut your finger nail.

 penat lah nak taip. sambung nanti boleh? ;-)

maseyh. 

hai matune.

hai mat.
aku tahu kau bace blog aku.
ngeh3

aku bukak blog kau tadi.

pastu aku nmpak gmbar botol honew dew hijau tu.

aku cuma nak cakap, aku ade botol lagi besar dari botol honey dew kau tu. 

kau tengok. siap background blog kau. muahahaha

keyh .

tu je.

kbai. *butthurt x?

konon kawan baik.

in sisterhood rules, never ever text-going out-calls-konon nk tolong-flirt with your bestfriend's crush. never ever do that. eventhough she's asking your help to get that guy number. help-but just stop at there.

but, hell yes. i've found one.

fcuk you,b***h.

she's your bestfriend.
eventhough thet never been together but you are there listening every words from her heart bout that lovely jerk guy.

2012 means

2012 means i will be 21 y/o old this year. omeyyyhjayyyhh,i'm getting old enuffff. (=,=')
AM I?
AM I?   *sbnarnye tak boleh trima hakikat.kat.kat.kat.kat. #cam gema la kunon.


tadi aku bersemangat nak tulis dlm blog. yelah. tgk post aku sebulan sekali je sejak 2 bulan lepas. aku pun tak percaya. iyekah??.
ke blog ni yang memain ngan aku.
a lot of things happen actually but i just dont have the gut to write everything in this kind of non-privatey-everyone-can-read-unless-i-make-it-private-but-it-is-leceh-like-hell.

n you know what, since this sem, my eyes will get watery and reddish if i get to long in front of my lappy. it's excruciating. :-(

and the best thing is, it's not because i'm studying, but
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watching RUNNING MEN. Mmwahahahaha

dem.

yeah.
i also have finals exam starting last weeks. 2 downs. 4 more to go.

and my laptop is gone. i had asked mael bout it. he took ma lappy away. and will be bored to death at my home tonyte. why? coz the virus starting to conquered and diminished my laptop. it bug me like hell.






and last but not least, i miss him so much. it had been FOUR months already. what i am afraid the most, is that i am starting to forget how he smile. 

slowtalk with a man

last night i have a little chat with my old friend. knew him since primary school. tibe2 je pop up kluar, telling bout  that psiko. well, i dont want to serabut2 my kepala bout that.


 than, there's a lot of things i had chat with him that i would never thought i will told him about that.



mane awek kau. nak tengoookkk

 ala., nanti laa. bff lain pon tak tahu lg.

ok.ok. weh, ***  dgn *** da putus ke?

da, lame da. syg kan. lame sgt diorg kapel. 8 tahun. putus mcm tu je. tu la, nk suke dgn org, belum tentu tu jodoh kau.


yeke, aku igt diorg ok je.

ntahla. jgn syg 100%. 50% pon da cukup. suke biar sekadar je.

but, how can?

pnjg ctenye..

ouh..aku cume curious je. yela, i was there when that relationship start to happen. maybe. or not. (aku mls nk byk tanya. kadang2 know less is better)

aku next year baru amek muet. tak taw la cane.

relax r:)
btol jugak en. tak bole syg org btol2 kan.

ha.taw pon.

tapi aku da syg btol2. cmne.. :(

ko pindah ke. jumpe org ni

a'ah

perbetulkan la niat kau. kalau ade jodoh, ade la. kalau takde nk uat cmne. syg sekadar biase je.

tapi kali ni aku da btol2 syg :'(

wat bf tu mcm member2 je

ala...AKU NAK JUGAK.. :'-(

tak bole yana., anggap special sket je.,

ala.,.,aku nak jugak. nak jugak :'-(

tak bole. NANTI KAU MAKAN DIRI yana.,

ala...............

ko igt senang, bercinta bagai nk rak 8 tahun lpas tu putus. igt senang ke nk lupe.
nanti kau da umur 24 kau carikla y siryes. 23 ke., k yana? ko msti nk llki y bekerjayaan sume kan? tetap sume kan?
mane tahu jodoh kau jumpe org lain. Allah maha mengetahui


ala.,tapi die keje da :'-( aku nk die jugak. nak jugak.nak jugak.

• jgn wat dri kite cm terhegeh kat seseorang
• nnty dye pk seng amek kesempatn
• kawal diri liyana
• anytime ko blh dapt siapa2
• ko syng dye, xde masalah
• tpi bia biase je
• kalau terlampau sgt naty mkn diri
• naty jadi obses
• pk tak kalau dye tggalkan kau, mcm mana kau nk handle
  
  
  
  
  ala....................
  
  
  
  
  kau da obses ni yana..
  
  
  aku rase karma aku kene ni.,
  
  
  ngade takdenye nak karma karma. dgr ckp aku.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  well, the conversation was long like hell actually.
  
  
  
  
  aku terdiam pk benda ni. tidur pun mcm tak lena je. 
  a man y nasihatkan aku. 
  
  
  it's kinda good actually listen what a man wanna say. at least i know there is a lot of good man out there :)
  
  
  
  
  frankly, it's not like i wanna tell people  bout this.but to think. if a man deciding its decision like this, how about us. girls??????
  
  
  my little friend really had grown up  being a man now. thanks  kawan :-)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

heavy.

lately,
i feel heavy.
a lot of things keep playing in my mind.
and for some reason i feel empty. 
something that is always happen and i always rarely think why.

while sitting alone, thinking back what had i done, i just remember something.
i totally forget Him.
heavier without Him.
emptiness happen.

after perform maghrib,
i took the love letters.
and start to read it.
almost an hour.
i only read surah ar-ra'd.
and i cant read it smoothly.
the sign that show i had leave it too long.

hina rasa.




and after kiss it, i feel lighter. mild. 
 the emptiness start dissappearing a little.
only a little.
a sign that show i should read it more.