random mind

I would love to write. a lot.
but sometimes when i already get a grip on a pen, suddenly all my thoughts are gone.
it'like they know they shouldn't be there at the first place.
it's like they know the moment they were in my head it was only for temporary and should not exposing themselves to outsiders. other than in my head. because they belong there.
only there.

as they know the risk of being known and how painful it is to be misinterpret.
as they know reality is much more cruel than in my minds.

Allah,

makes me remember You more.

"along kena ingat, atuk pernah cakap dengan mak ngah dulu, takdir memang dah tertulis.

tapi... 70% adalah daripada hati. 

ia boleh berubah. 

along kena faham, mungkin apa yang paklong nampak, adalah masa sekarang.

mungkin hati tu tak tetap sekarang.

tapi kita boleh berusaha. yang penting kita usaha."

I almost cried, because I need that. 

terima kasih mak ngah.

ya Allah..
tetapkanlah kebergantunganku hanya padaMu.
Jangan ditambah rasa ku kepada makhlukmu melebihi rasa kepadaMu.

along  rindu atuk.
rindu sangat2.

redha. 

redha dengan jalan-Nya

Ikhlas kan hati dengan dugaan-Nya

Kuatkan hati dengan kekuatan-Nya. 

Cara Semak Rekod CCRIS Online

To be honest,
aku sendiri tak tahu berapa lama dah bulanan tertunggak yang aku kena bayar untuk PTPTN aku. sebab seingat aku hanya sekali je kot aku pernah bayar dulu.

And I really want to know mcm mana rekod CCRIS aku kat bank negara.

tapi setelah google sana sini, nak dapatkan rekod CCRIS memang hanya dari Bank Negara sahaja.
Nak mintak pos pun boleh tapi mcm banyak prosedur je.

So actually there is another alternative.

RAMCI

Their service is quite fast. Lepas aku setel daftar and bayar rm10 it was only around 20 minutes for the process. then after that kau dpt email mengenai rekod kredit kau.


1) daftar masuk sistem.

lepas berjaya daftar, untuk verification kena upload gambar depan belakang IC (aku buat bentuk pdf),
then any bills yang ada nama kau as penama.
aku upload je pdf bill celcom yang dapat bulan- bulan tu.

after kau dah upload and sent, tak lama lepas tu cek email they will sent basic kredit report yang aku pun xberapa nak faham sangat *lol.

2) after that search untuk beli report kredit for only rm10. rasa mcm byk jugak rm10 tu  tapi ahhh aku nak tgk cepat hahaha

so setelkan bayar payment online , around 5-10 minutes after that kau dah boleh dapatkan
that reports dlm inbox email kau. (email yang didaftarkan pada akaun RAMCI ni ye)

btw that reports ada passwords yang dia akan bgtaw skali dlm email mcm mana nak dpt. but don't worry. that step was easy.


so you will get one reports yang mengandungi hutang2 yang kau kena bayar, and company/organisation mana yang pernah check profile ccris kau.

tadaaaa !! 

so here how it looks like.

okay boleh cuba sekarang :P

ada kerja perlu di siapkan. 

tetapi hari ini hari ahad.

boleh x buat esok je?

answer

the video below really makes me cry.

because, for months i've been asking Allah what is the point of doing or choosing what i want now if ends up things will not be just like what i want. 

the climax feeling was a week before i watched this video. I was crying from work while driving. 

I am asking for an answer. 

what is the point of choosing what i want now,seeding hope high as a mountain,  but i can't expect the same result later and it may be getting a pain again?

the moment i watched this video, it was like an arrow hit right to the target into my heart, head and soul. 

these is actually the answer. and HE sent it to me gracefully.. explaining bit by bit. :')

I cried so hard.

I even replaying the video at the same spot for many times while wiping my tears. 

you know HE never stop loving you and wants you to keep searching for HIM when HE is giving answer in 

any ways HE can. :')