too much.

when it is too much.
you will feel like it is not true.
you will feel like you aren't real.

you feel bad.
you feel hard.
absurd.
lame.
raw.


that is what this heart struggling for.
i want you here 24/7.

but suddenly, we both realize we can't stand it anymore.
we need to stop.
we need to cool down.
if not, things will become bad.
maybe worst.


how funny it is we choose to back off not because we had a fight,


 it just because we had too much of- compassion.

and it is not the time.
not the perfect time.
terlalu awal.
belum tiba masanya lagi.


simpan perasaan itu.
sekejap sahaja.
bak kata anda, mr robert patz, "pejam celik pejam celik da 3 4 tahun."

i'll try.
no.
i want. i will.
too much others thing.
well, we'll solve others first.

then, this. this compassion.
one at a time.





insyaAllah.







"Have you ever heard the word "compassion"?Setia boleh jadi macam-macam setia.Seorang isteri yang setia di rumah pun kalau takde compassion lelaki jadi bosan gak.Siapa nak kalau balik rumah je kena bebel macam-macam and then nak lepak dengan kawan tengok bola pun dah bising.Cun la macam mana pun - lelaki tak boleh blah gak.

Compassion means you're inside him and he's inside you.Macam mana pun kau akan buat dia akan cari kau jugak.Setia je is not enough.Setia bagi aku macam anjing dan tuannya - kau tetap setia tapi akhirnya kau tido luar rumah jugak.Compassion is a better word.

So macam mana nak bercompassion ni?Bila kau fall in love - inilah benda yang paling susah nak buat - emotionally attached.Selalu bila lelaki fall in love dengan perempuan - dia akan pandang boobs or peha or muka dia comel whatsoever.Ada jugak sebab dia ni baik - bukan takde.But cantik or baik it's not enough for love.Emotionally attached ni adalah perkara paling susah nak buat.Kau harus ada something yang kau share - emotionally.Setakat "awak pun minat aiskrim strawberry jugak ke,saya pun" atau "saya suka awak sebab awak penyokong Liverpool yenuwa yenuwa oh yeah" pun tak cukup jugak.........

.........Aku pernah lepak dengan seorang pemandu teksi dengan anak dia yang ada serebrum disability(bahagian otak mana aku tak tau tapi ia tak boleh mengawal bahagian pertuturan dengan kognitif kalau tak silap).Umur pemandu teksi ni dah dekat 53 tahun,dan isteri dia dah meninggal kira-kira 6 tahun yang lalu.Aku ada tanya dia - kenapa tak nak kahwin baru lagi untuk jaga anak dia?Jawapan dia mudah - dia rasa takde perempuan lagi yang boleh share problem and emotional macam dengan arwah isteri dia.Aku sangat faham dengan pemandu teksi tu.Aku tanya dia takkan takde perempuan nak kat dia,pasal dia pemandu teksi ke takde orang nak - dia cakap bukan takde orang yang nak.Yang cantik - yang pandai,janda bekas kepada Datuk pun ada yang nak kat dia.Tak tau la dia temberang atau betul - the point is,dia rasa perempuan yang dia jumpa takde compassion macam arwah isteri dia."

copied from

http://tehtarikgelasbesar.blogspot.com/2011/01/fasha-nora-punya-cerita.html

The Malay Chronicles: Merong Mahawangsa

semalam 10 march 2011 aku pegi tgk cte merong mahawangsa nih.

AWESOME!!!!!!!!
TOTALLY AWESOME!!!

tak rugi sploh hengget aku.
mmg aku nk g tgk lagi t.
 or maybe tggu org belanje.
anyone? hehe

this story had a lot of climax. and for me, that is good.
it makes us wondering what had happen actually.
then, the romance was very gentle.
the prince looks younger but still cute. haha
merong sgt klaka howwkeyyh. aku paling igt ayat dialog ni, "oh,that's maybe my uncle, MERONG MAHASUASA".
kahkahkah. satu wayang gelak time neh.
bagi aku jalan cerita y sgt menarik.
ayat klasik dlm movie ni tak nmpak kekok.

and aku pasti ade byk dialog yang boleh jd trademark,tagline and ikutan.
ayat ape?
korang kene tgk dulu~~~~ngehngehngeh

blood is everywhere~~~

ending die aku tak puas.
why merong?
why???~~~~ (T_T)


then, aku dengar cte wayang kat kl diorg BANGUN AND GAVE A LOUD APPLAUSE TO THIS MOVIE.
do you feel the goosebumps? =,=
aku sendirik rase nk uat cmtu,tp, tp, tp. tade org nk uat..sobs.

i give you 9.9/ 10, merong!!
*wink wink

enjoy the poster :)

mule2 cite watak die y kua dulu. da la byk ckp.
bagila poster die dulu.
haha

pengiring marcus.

die ni pon ade sengal2 gak mcm merong.
tp merong lg sengal ah.
cute kan?yawww

meng li aaaa~~~~ :)
she's known as beautiful and intelligent princess.
no wonder the prince still fall in love with her :)

pak kesum macho~~
aku tataw nape first time aku tgk die ni aku tergelak.,=,='
da tade ghupe dato' rahim razali da.,(~~,)

pacik taji jahat.
wekkkkk

she looks beautiful in this movie.

eh mane poster kemawas tu ha?

merong mahawangsa:)
oh. tu la kemawas botak jahat tuh.
wekk
wekk

then,kekurangan, nampak tp tak byk. as a country y baru nk meningkat naik dlm bidang perfileman tok movie mcm nie, aku rase still perlu diberi pujian. :)

p/s: poster credits to page merong mahawangsa at facebook

ekspedisi gunung nuang|| 4 kali kaki krem =,='

as you know last weekend aku g join ekspedisi gunung nuang :)

at first, konon nk cancel la kan , tapi da bayar. so aku pegi jugak tp ngan nor la. mat tak jadik g.,
sokey mat :)

bez giler weh. tapi balik jalan macam org cacat ah.
smlm aku siap g pku lagik.
mr r0bert patz amek and hantrkan kembali ke perwira. thanx anda :)

then, sepanjang naek tu 4 kali aku ase kaki aku krem. seb baik turun tade pape.

well, aku nk cte panjang pon penat. gmbar kan ade ., (^____________^)

rakan2, pasni ade nek gunung ag kite g nak? nak?
ape? tamaw?

fine.fine. =,='

short one.

i'm back from xpdc gunung nuang..
sgt penat.
i mean sgt6 penat.
btol,.
tak tipu.

mlm ni plak test.
menangis ah aku jwb test.

kaki,peha, betis. lutut, bahu tulang belakang, pinggang masih sakit. sgt sakit.

cter nanti ah.
nk nules ni pon kaki aku berdenyut2 lagik.
phehhh.,
*menahan sakit.,sobs T_T

aku pon tak paham ape motif kene suro tunjuk2 tgn nih =,=p
yup that's me. the blue shirt second standing from left

not in the mood.

lately,
not much thing hapeen.
eh.
nope.

a lot maybe,.

it just i don't have the guts to write all about it.

malas you know.

yeah,.
that kind of things.

then tambah probs hati lagi.
study lagi.
assignment lagi.
test lagi.

oh no.
test.

data structure and algorithm
3/3/2011
8.00 - 10.00 pm
f2
eh.jap. aku tak hengat.

then,

ekspedisi gunung nuang
4 - 6 march 2011

test basic accounting
7 march 2011

dateline assignment data structure n algo
4 labs report
7 march 2011

lab intro aku tak anta lagi.

presentation titas
presentation intro to mm

group assignment b.account

project intro to mm

discrete structure pon tak smpat lagi ni.


so,

ade sesape nk bagi aku tong gas oksigen utk pernafasan segera?

sobs., =,=







again.
hati ni tawar.
tak bergerak.
berhenti riang.
berhenti senyum.
aku tak suka.
well,
since you are the one who making this decision,
i would follow.
follow your rules.
we'll see.

flightless bird, american mouth

i love this song so much. i really2 loves it.

no matter what you say, i will always and still loves it :)

message is to follow your OWN dreams and take CHANCES so you'll never have to wonder "what if". 

I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins 

All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys 

Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair 

Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere 

Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth
Big pill looming 

The first verse: 
About a man taking the easy way through life. He's "husstling" if you will, for money. Living the fast life, the good life for the time being however he's getting in too deep and getting too greedy 

"Digging too deep for coins"

 and when one gets too greedy in the underground, one gets sloppy. 

"When the cops closed the fair"

 Refers to how he gets caught and the cops put an end to his fast life and easy money.

 He's forced to grow up ,

“I cut my long baby hair”. He can no longer live the life he had and realizes he must change his ways. 

“Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere” Dog eared-map may not make sense at first glace,

 but dogs ears may be referring to listening which leads to him being humbled and now taking advice.

 The Map may refer to him finding direction. Stealing a map traditionally means having stolen a path away from someone and,

 in this case, “stealing a dog-eared map” refers to him taking the advice of others, and following a path that others would like him to follow.

 He “stole” the map; the path was not his own – it belonged to someone else; was the idea of someone else.

“Have I found you, flightless bird”

 he’s unsure if he’s found his own path. If he’s found what he wants to do rather than what others want him to do.

 A bird that cannot fly may be seen by some as ironic. 

Birds are known to fly – they have wings to fly. If a bird cannot fly, it is not fully realized. 

“jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth” This may refer to those surrounding him as well as his own thoughts. 

The “jealous”,

 never want another to become a fully realized individual. Always wanting to hold the individual back; as the saying goes, “Misery love company”.

 “Weeping or lost you” may refer to him realizing this is not his dream. This is not his path, it is another’s path; not what he chose, but what has been chosen for him. 

“American mouth” is an analogy for the Freedom of speech. Had he spoken up when he had the chance, deciding on his dream rather than pleasing others, he may have been happy and not have had this.

 “big pill looming”, this burden and suppressed misery.

Now I'm a fat house cat 

Nursing my sore blunt tongue 

Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks 

Pissing on magazine photos 

Those fishing lures thrown in the cold 

And clean bl**d of god mountain stream 

This entire verse speaks about what he has become having followed a path that he believed was the right choice for others’ sake rather than taking a chance, 

doing something that may have been frightening but in the end cold have been worth it.

“Now I’m a fat house cat”,

 refers to his present state. Unhappy with himself and the outcome of his life. 

He finds it too late for him to be able to change the past and no matter how much he talks it over, and complains about it.

 “Nursing my sore, blunt tongue” ,

he will still be in the position he is in. He may as well hold his tongue from now on, keep from complaining about a situation that was of his doing. He is now forced to watch others who were not afraid of taking that chance. Others who pushed through the fear and, even though it may lead to places unknown, or may hurt them in the future.

 still took the chance “Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks.” 

There is nothing stopping these young and fearless creatures. 

These “rats” have such a big future “Wide fence ****s” ahead of them and even though it may be scary and unknown, 

or may even be the wrong decision,

 “Warm Poison” these rats still took that chance.

He now looks at his mainstream American life and resents it ,

"pissing on magazine photos”. 

He tried to take the opportunities now, take those chances now, but he feels it is too late. 

Like “Fishing lures thrown in the cold”. 

He will not get any bites at this point. He not just throws those “lures” or,

 dreams into the hands of God of “God mountain stream”

 and wait for his days to play out and come to an end.

Have I found you 

Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, american mouth 

Big pill stuck going down

In this chorus he refers to the

 “flightless bird” as being “grounded, bleeding or lost you”. 

When something is grounded, it has come to a definite decision. 

Whether it be in flight context, a “grounded plane” has been grounded due to complications and cannot get into the air, or in a completely difference context,

 “grounding your kids” meaning they are completely restricted.

 To add insult to injury, this “flightless bird” is not only grounded, but “bleeding” as well. 

He is not only “trapped” into his position, but he is injured and unable to recover. Being grounded has injured him, caused him to “bleed”. 

He can no longer complete his dream, he feels he has missed his chance.

 Rather than the “big pill” slowly making it’s way down, 

the “Big pill stuck going down” is trapped in place.

Copied from MetroLyrics.com 

let me sleep for a while.

recentle, or maybe lately i have a problem with my sleep. insomnia. mungkin.  entahla.

mcm sekarang, da nak kul 3 pagi ni. sok nak kua ni. 'girl's day out' bebeh ^^

and da dua kali my kawan2 dtg bilik n tgk aku still tido,. isk. sori la sygs.sobs huhu
tataw pe jadi. kene manage balik ni.

p/s-- next week test dsa. yawww. pasni mmg tdo ngan dsa je la. T_T