that chinese guy.

pagi tadi pergi check duit kat muamalat. they said duit elaun mhs maybe dah masuk. tapi bila check, tak ada pun. punah harapan T_T

well, while waiting for the bus at the atm, there's one chinese guy looking at me while i'm watching something else.
mestila aku perasan kan, sebab dia dua tiga langkah je depan aku, then bila aku pandang dia, cepat2 dia pandang tempat lain. hati perasan mengatakan dia mungkin tgk aku sebab aku comel kot. ihik2. hell yeah. berangan.

hati normal cakap, maybe he knows me from mhs. maybe i was the one who taking care of his group. so dia ingat2 lupa betul ke akak ni y jadi fasilitator dia awal sem haritu. well, he seems younger than me. that might be a fair reason.

so the bus arrived.

dalam bus, i remembered something. a hidden memory, buried deep in me. about a chinese boy. i should call him a chinese guy maybe right now.

i think i never told anyone this story. or pernah mungkin. tapi betul2 tak ingat pernah bagitahu org tak. heuheu


in my high school, my class were at the furthest block(X) back then. next to my block(parallel) at that time there is another block (Y) was for higher forms students.

this happen when i was in Form 1 maybe.




every morning, i walked to my class by passing through block Y then baru la smpai blok x, baru la naik tangga sampai tingkat 2, baru smpai kelas.

i did it every morning.monday to friday.

few weeks before form 5 taking their spm, i saw a chinese boy from form 5 class. he sat at the back of his class, holding his pen, doing homework maybe, watching me walking to my class.

i just felt nothing. maybe he just looking at me.

he had been doing the same thing for the next few days. and i start to feel uneasy.
and then, he smiled.
he smiled at me.



okay. he just smiled. still on the same position from the first day i noticed. the difference was, he smiled.
i realised, he had this cute smile and smiling eyes. mestila aku da start perasan time ni kan. bhahahaha

until the next week.
i walked again passing through his block again. but this time, dari jauh, i already saw him.

he was leaning on his back at the door. second door of his class. while watching me closely walking towards my block.

he was smiling.
silangkan tangan.
looking at me.
oh my.
i can hear my own heartbeat.
haha
i can see he is tall. skinny. skinny good.not skinny bad.
he has this cute smile.
and he tried so hard not to scare me.
well, masa tu baru form 1. kang tegur kang cakap menggedik plak kan. da la aku budak kelas arab time tu. haha.

so, i just smiled back. without saying anything. and he said nothing also. just smile. *aahhhh melting tahu.
he did the same thing for the next day, but this time, when i arrived at the stairs in my block, i looked at him.
he still there. waiting for me naik tangga pergi kelas. i know la, sebab kat tangga tu aku tunggu lama sket then tgk balik, dia dah masuk kelas. haha

after that, he tried to talk to me, but i was too scared to go to him. suppose dia la y datang kat aku kan? isk.
i was bravely enuff only to say 'hi'


and then, aku tak ingat sangat dah apa jadi sebab lepas tu diorang start paper SPM and that means dia tak ada kat kelas tu dah.

we just stopped.
not more than saying hi,
not more than calls
texting,
surat cinta or whatever else.
it just stopped.
means also lepastu tak jumpa dah kan sebab dia da abes dah.

what i remembered about that class was that it fulls of chinese students. maybe half of it malay. and macam ramai lelaki. that's the only memory i had about that class. well, masa tu pun form 1, brapa lama dah, so dont ask me why kelas form 5 is there bla bla bla bla bla. i dont remember.



until that one day.





in front of my house, my neighbour was doing renovation for their house. as usual , contractor tu cina.
anak kontraktor tu pun kadang2 tolong gak aku tgk.

i was watching tv. my parents werent in the house. the left somewhere. i need to take care of my siblings. next to my house ada pokok jambu air, then dengar ada bising2 kat luar trying to take those jambu. well, we rarely tak bagi orang sebab pokok tu sentiasa berbuah. so i just ignored them.
but then, it became too noisy , so i walked out and trying to figure out why they were taking so long just to take those jambu.

it seems semua jambu belah atas. susah.anak kontrator cina tu dgn kawan dia yang nak.

and then, i saw him.
he startled.
me too.
we looked at each other.
again, i can hear my heart beat.


it looks too good to be true.
terkejut kot. he was shocked too. it was a Kodak moment. haha
he is the same chinese guy that was flirting with me few months ago.
and how the hell he is in front of my house?
eating my jambu?
with his friend?

it's too much.
i was stoned for a few moments and i ran back into my house.
few minutes later, i peeked through my window. i saw he is still standing there. with his friends. eating my jambu. he was looking into my house. he seems tense. but with patience.
i dont know why i dont want to go back outside again.
malu kot.

well, after 15-20 minutes, he still there. waiting. but i was too stupid. still taknak kluar. too many things on my mind. -i'm too young-he's barely 18-my mom would kill me if she knew-he's chinese-i dont even know his name-bla bla bla
then, his friends asked him to leave. it seems they need to leave. sebab nk pergi tempat lain kot.

again. it stop.


it's my puppy love story y tak kesampaian. haha
it is a sweet memory.
i do remember him.
but in a good way.
he is a gentleman you know.
he takes thing slowly. that's what we want kan? haha

i just want to keep this story in here, because one day, i might forget about this memory.
this memory that once had made me hearing my own heartbeat.
for the first time in my highschool year.